As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
