Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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