I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
