I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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