In the future we'll all be gay
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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