Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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