Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
soo... how was my night?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize