No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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