I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
