He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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