considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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