it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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