I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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