Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
