Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
