I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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