I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
