it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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