The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize