Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
