**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
