her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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