Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We had sex on a dog bed..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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