I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The adults are the big ones right?
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