hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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