I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
