Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize