shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wat bout pragnant strippers??
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
