Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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