so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
