At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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