Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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