All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
