how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
