Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
