is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
