Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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