I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
