explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
