It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
