Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
