does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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