I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
