Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
