I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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