I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
