Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
