Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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