Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
