His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
