How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
