Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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