I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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