Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
