Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
