I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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