what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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