I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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