From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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