I wannas sexs uuuuu
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
