nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
