booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
