Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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